Before I fall
by miaforevez
Summary: Avangeline Schreave is a stranger to her self. Daughter of Maxon Schreave. Mother unknown. she cant remember a thing from her past only glimpses and flicker of red hair and music whispers.
1. Chapter 1

Part one: Falling Lost

Avangeline POV

My mind is blank. The girl in my reflection isn't me. A stranger, Limp hair, fogged eyes, scars and bruises run across my face and arms like wildfire. I'm forced to wear a dress, one fit for a princess. "Are you ready?" I turn a blonde man with muddy brown eyes stands there. When I got here my memories were swiped. He claimed to be my father. He looks like me blond curls just tall enough to be considered tall. When that happens, when I see a person from my past my body tries to shut down and force me into a grey space. I brace myself but the feeling of grey space never comes. I have no feeling of familiarity or flicker of memory.

It's my birthday ball, well I wouldn't call it my birthday ball. It's Avangeline Schreave's ball. I am not Avangeline Schreave. I am not a princess. I am a girl without memories. I am a girl who is lost. I'm clad in only a mint green dress. The silk was tight with a sweetheart neckline and slit up the leg. I didn't like it. I feel exposed. Maxon leads me down to the biggest ball room. I can't bring myself to call him dad yet. Calling him dad would be saying that I know who I am. Calling him dad would be a lie.

I'm greeted by a couple. The king Fredrick and Queen Daphne. Queen gives me a long hug like I've known her my whole life. King gives me a pat on the shoulder and says 'Nice to see you kid.' When they touch me I stiffen it's like being touched like a total stranger. No, it was being touched by a total stranger. Their son Prince Jackson takes my hand brings it to his lips. I tug it back caught off guard. He brings his handkerchief to his nose. Blood slowly seeped out of his nose onto the top of his lip. He looks at me confused. He looks at me hurt. He looks at me the same way I look at him. Like I'm a stranger.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." I keep muttering words like that until he gives and irritated glance my way. My mouth shuts into silence.

"Cher you know I hate it when you apologize for stupid petty things," but I didn't know. I didn't know him at all. He steps towards me and I take one step back. He shakes his head at me muttering "drôle fille, why are you acting so." My grandmother curtsies and whispers a few sentences into his ears as I rush out of the room. I feel like I'm in a cage. I don't know how to deal with this life. I run down the hall, I need to be able to breathe.

A good ten minutes until I find myself on the roof. I slide against the wall falling to the ground pulling my knees to my chest. The tears spill out. The air is cold against my skin. I can't handle being around people who know more about me than me. Most girls in my situation would be happy and all smiles. Why am I full of feelings and tears? I pull the pins out of my hair flinging them off of the roof and pull off the wig. My hair is short, It used to be long fell in curls down to my waist. My father didn't want anyone to know what happened. Not even me.

All I want is answers, what happened who is the radiant woman with red hair that sings in my dreams. I really doubt I'm getting them tonight or anytime soon.

"You really don't remember me do you?" He kneels next to me. "Your hair it's so short." I just shrug. "You're still wearing the engagement ring. Why?"

"I uh dunno it's pretty I woke with it on and I always to forget to take it off. Did you give it to me?" I feel stupid. Having to ask it feels like I'm giving into everything. 

"Yeah I did. You cried when I gave it to you, you loved simple things but I couldn't help but get you a sophisticated ring." He lets out a rough laugh.

"You want to explain all the creepy dolphin things scattered about my room." There thousands of little trinkets and knickknacks but their mostly crystal dolphins. Okay not thousands but a good thirty or so of them.

"Well dolphins are your favorite animal me or your father brought you one every time we came back from France to Illea. We would bring you back one to see your bright smile every time." That didn't really answer why they were their but I knew a little more about myself. "Cher," I nodded but I felt myself falling into a grey area.

Glimpses of red hair. Pull away Avangeline, don't fall through. Whispers of music. "Cher, what's going on." His sweet accent filling my ears bringing me back. He wrapped his arms around me stroking my short hair. Even though I couldn't remember him he didn't seem so strange anymore.

**What another fic arnt you already writing four on and one on figment. What is wrong with me you may ask. Everything. Emotional trauma from the one. God I ugh just read it you'll feel my pain. I wasn't satisfied . I rlly wanna cry I did cry when I finished it in pottery. I am behind on projects because of it. Ugh my heart hurts so bad, I loveit but I hate it. May or may not have been thrown across the room. Mulltiple times. So I cant bear to write from Maxons pov or in myfml or the others gawd ugh sorry I like needed to rant some more. Review plz they make me happy. UM CELESTE WHY I LOVED YOU SO MUCH *SOBS* not okay **


	2. Chapter 2

My room was dark when I woke all of those creepy little dolphins staring at me I really need Alice to deal with those. Rubbing sleep away from my eyes I hopped into the shower. By the time my maids got their I was dressed In a peach dress it was originally sweetheart cut but an illusion neckline had been added it rolled of my skin in silk that ended at the bottom being curled. Alice, came in along with the other two. I had a hard time with names. On was one of those names that was aceptable for either a boy or a girl and the other was some Russian name that was started with an A I think. "Avangeline, you're supposed to wait for us so we can help you into the dress and boots not so you can do it yourself." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. That got me a scowel. What was I going to do, I sat for at least a halfhour then got dressed.

"I tried but my attention span has no game." Alice shakes her head and grabs a lipstick tube like a wand.

"Fine, but now i'm doing your hair and make up." Alice always ordered lipstick cause I apperently hated lip gloss. She had every color, you'd think they'd be names like 'mango orange' or 'rose red' or 'pink'. But no we got 'medusa' and 'san topaz' and 'paris'. Paris kinda scared me cause when I think of paris I think of pastels not estatic hot pink. Alice choose 'Ever after'. Ever after was pale, pale, pale pink like I-can't-even-pale-pink. She usually set me in dark reds or maroons but this looked right. Charcoal liner felt wierd when being applied to my skin.

"Stop being difficult." She chided me, it was anoying me the liner felt like slime against my skin. It's not like it was drippy or liquid liner but it felt wierd. "Avangeline Schreve, I am not fixing your make up if you mess it up." Thats a lie, she freaked out and re-did her make up handy work all the time.

"Prince Beau-Willstock of France would like to have breakfest with you. Then he's planed a sweet day." I wasn't exactly comfortable with Beau, but I wasn't like cowers in corner about him either.

Breakfest was wierd. Being with Beau was wierd. Its like he knew me better than I knew me. Kinda creepy. Like breakfest was wierd. 

Beau had brought out an omelet with eggs and tomato and mushrooms. Disgusting. Like not even. Then he was like sexy french accent, "Is your appitite faint, it's your favorite." and his accent melted me. Like I can even. His accent alone made me want to eat those horrid tomatos and mushrooms, but my soul was telling me otherwise. Maybe I once had loved them but I could barely stand the sight of them.

"No, I just dont think i'm verry fond of mushrooms or tomatos anymore. Sorry." I glance up at him and he's trying to hide a laugh, but ends up throwing his head back with laughter.

"Thank god, cher I love you but you have the worst taste ever, or used to. You would like insist it was the best." He cuts half his omelet in half and settles it onto my plate. "It was more than I could ever eat anyways." He brushed a stray lock out of my eyes and behind my ear. I didn't feel the urge to pull away like I did when the Duke of Brazil had kneeled and kissed my hand.

"How do you feel about horses." Horses? I'm so lost right now.

"Indifferent."

"We'll once upon a time you loved horses, and we rode horses together for a good portion of our childhood. I would really like for you to get your memories back cher, Cher I miss being with you, I miss you knowing everything about you and us. I really miss us. Cher we were beautiful. We still can be beautiful. C'mon I want to get back to the place where I can hold you with out it being an act of force." He kept on using that sweet, sweet, sweet accent of his. He didn't even need to explain him self I would have done it either way.

"I guess," Mock defeat fill my tone. It makes him throw his head back with laughter.

He leads me away from our empty plates and the one giant omelet gentally settled on a plate.

We walk passed the pathway. "Wh-where are we going," the scenery is crazy gorgeous you look up and you see these big tall trees and sky, its beautiful. Its the kind of beautiful that you could just stare at for hours.

"Short cut," His soft hand is wrapped around mine. He lifts a tree branches for me, moves leaves from my hair and directs me away from mud puddle. It's sweet, like I feel a conection between us but I feel strange acting with that knowledge.

He finally leads me onto a meadow thats fenced off with several horses troting around. It was beautiful. "Cher, your outfit wont need to be changed unless you are afraid of a little dirt if you fall,"

I shrugged, I was like five four maybe and that horse was not five four in the least. Okay thank god I wore boots. "C'mon I'll help you," One foot is on the foot part of the saddle but I slipped. A laugh bubbled from my system when I slipped and Beau grabbed my lips. It wasn't meant to be a sensual touch. Everything between us is anything but friendly but I think i'm okay with that. I think I'd be okay with Beau being with me the way he had been in the past.

**84259 - that made me cry that was sweet thanks your my favorite on fan fiction and thanks for the favorite**

**guest- your gonna have to keep on reading to find out**


	3. Chapter 3

_Exotic orange yellow flicks all around me I stumble falling to my knees. I feel the fire blazing my skin and scoot backwards trying to stand at the same time. "AVA, AVANGELINE," my name is being screamed by a red haired woman tall and thin. Crackles and booms came from falling house limbs. _

"Avangeline, wake up sweetheart. Honey please wake, I need you to wake." My fathers voice fills my ears, but the dream wouldn't fade from behind my eyes. He starts to shake me. With all my being I wanted to wake. 

_More limbs fell one a foot away from myself. My head felt light as more flames came tumbling down. A dark form takes the woman with Red hair. _

"Can you wake her up." A voice I reckognized but couldnt put a face to voice filling the air.

"Not ye-" I shot up and felt out of breath and realised I had been screaming when I tried to speak.

"Shh" Dad wraps his arms around me. I feel like a little girl, in his arms. "You don't have to say anything unless you want to." His lips touch the top of my head, I think about speaking but when I try but I just make cracked sob noises. I don't know who the woman with the red hair is but, I feel an attachment to her, like the one I feel with Daddy. It's caring not like the attachment I feel with Beau. I want to know who she is, who the beautiful woman with the crazy red curls was.

**its short i know im sorry for that and you guys are endlessly sweet like i cant even like i had to restart this chapter just about a million times i even acidentally skipped watching the delerium pilot episode ima have to see it i can watch it later i think i can... anyways hope i cleared things up i didnt really know how to go about this and so sorry for the crappy outcome **

**thank you selectionprincess59 for the follows and favorites and kite tool heart for the follow**

**kaylie2000- i tried to clear it up but as kiera cass loves to say this isnt my story it my main characters story so like when i started this fanfic i didnt know what happened to avangeline all i knew was that she couldnt remember a thing nor her past and no not engaged more around betrothed *did i spell that right?* anyways thanks for the support and the follow**

**dondon33: oh your so incredebly sweet i dont really think this chapter is great but you might like it **

**lily s.: Okay so you practically made me cry and squeel i just couldnt even i tried to clear things up in this chapter also but like i said to kaylie2000 i didnt even know what this story was gonna be when i started this chapter so i tried to make maxon more fatherly and maxon like in this chapter and i really really apreciated that review it like made the start of summer so much better. i really didnt even exspect any reviews for this story and when i was flooded with three when i checked my gmail i was like waht is this life i live at like 3 am lol thank you so much for the support *gives you a cookie* **


	4. Chapter 4

No sleep probably wasnt the best option. It was probably the worst, but I really had no other choice.

I flip the page of the novel I'm attempting at reading. I have an abundance of novel. Its the only thing from my old life I can grasp a hold of. The wierd dolphin figurines were done with boxed up and sitting at the bottom of my closet. The piano that sits in the corner of my room does pricicley that sits in the corner and colects dust. The easel that shone in my balcony got folded up and sets behind the folds and folds of dresses in my closet. But I still cant figure out what to do with old black camera that sits on my white antique desk next to my stationary or the boxes of pictures that go along with it.

A knock at my door tears me away from my protaganist that's rescueing her true love from a jail cell with her best friend.

Maybe if you ignore it ... it will go away. I hope who ever it is just thinks I fell asleep with the light on.

Emmanuel opens the door. His blue eyes fall on my thin tank top plus knee length sweats bed attire. Technacally its my work out attire but silk lingerie is not something I want to be sleeping in.

"Ava," His eyes scan over me like he hasnt seen me in years. I know him by the pictures on the wall there are plenty of Emmanuel and Avangeline Schreave pre accident scattered amongst my Fathers walls. Some from when we were younger some from a few months back.

I look up at him. That was a statement not a question. So no need for a reply.

His eyes are ice blue. An exact replica of mine.

"Ava its you," He's got this buffudled scared little boy glaze in his eyes. He was on bussness with his fiance Briar-Rose for the past few months I guess. Well at least thats what I was told.

"Yeah." I say breaking the silence. "Its me." Speaking makes me get all emotional and teary eyed. I feel close to him, but I dont remember anything.

These are the kind of things that make me so god damned frustraited lately. Its one thing to not know where you come from or who you are. Its a whole other ball park when you feel things and you dont understand why or even how to place them.

"No dont cry." He steps closer and sits next to me. He rubs short quick circles on my bare shoulder.

"Sorry." I start. "I don't know why I cry half the time anymore." My voice is pleading and broken. I hate this.

"Wheres Mom?" He changes the subject. To a subject, one of the many I cant answer. "I havent seen her yet?" His eyes grow sad.

I just shrug at him. I dont even know who my mother is. Mom. A three letter word to peice together the crossword puzzle that is my life.

That night plans don't go as acording as they should. I ended up passing out and waking with Dianna's christmas cookie sented body staring at me.

"Sleeping beauty you're awake. Ha you look like her yah know. Except she wears dresses not whatever that get up is." I have utterly no clue what she is blabbering on about. "You have to get up. Oh can I do your hair." She runs her thin finger through my hair. Her sleek pixie cut was floping every which way as she talked animated as ever.

"Love you gotta get ahold of these night terrors." She glances at me with hooded eyes. "Although they didnt start till after we left for breakfest. Although it stopped a while after I sat in here. Now go take a shower and get dressed and I'm doing something with that hair we have Emmanuel and Emma's weding to prep for plus Luana and Dianna already have their dresses. You do not. I do not. SO we will be good sisters today. Plus I miss you and excitement has been on the downlow lately."

**god I miss writing this heeehee. THIS actually isnt what I planned to write but idk I wanted to get something out but I feel like Its wayyy to short whatever leave me a review if you like her two siblings hee hee **


	5. Chapter 5

I step out of the shower. My skin fair and my hair a close shade of white blonde. There is almost no contrast between it and my skin. Unlike the vast contrast between my scrapes and burns and my pale skin. Dropping the thought I step into my ginormous closet. I slip on a simple off white dress with daises printed across the bottom hem like a garden of wild daises growing and sprouting off the hem of my my fluffy skirt. I open my makeup drawer flipping open my eyeshadow and putting on a nice thick gold matte base and a shimmery gold one around my crease. It was pretty looked illuminating.

Irene speaks as I'm putting on the finishing touches some dark red lip and mascara. "Ava you always did do the simple but regal look well. When me and Diana were younger it made her envious and frustrated that you could do amazing things that were complex but so simple with make up. She was never good at it the whole make up thing that is. Anyways do something like that for the wedding its self It will make Diana go crazy with make up envy and will be so funny." She pauses her animated ramblings smacking the brush against her right hand . "Now on you knees tall girl im gonna do something with this gorgeous hair you have."

She spent legitimately and hour and a half on a side braid topped with a black ribbon tied into a bow at the end.

"C'mon I think its time we get going before my maid comes and sees that we have done all her very important work for her." I say standing up and walking toward the hall Irene on my arm.

It was about ten now and we'd gone through about half of the dresses. There had to have been more than 200 of the darn things. There was a lot of dresses but none of them looked right on me . At about noon thirty Irene found her dress. It was a few inches above the knee black with a multi colored skirt that was fluffy as could be. It was very much an Irene dress. It was full of excitement and color.

I was surrounded by tons of gorgeous dresses and I couldn't even find one dress. At the moment I felt like a spoiled brat princess.

"I'm just checking in with you girls." Maxon comes in a kiss on the forehead for Dianna and a forced fake smile for me.

"Daddy I found this gorgeous black dress and it colorful and just so me." She exclaims with utter excitement pouring from her happy little body.

"Is it multiple shades of black." He asks her in a teasing tone of voice.

"NO ugh shut up daddy that's not what I meant and you know it." Irene was practically screeching at him.

He surprising like switches his focus to me. "Avangeline you find anything yet?" He asks and I'm kinda shocked hes even acting as if I even exist.

"n-n-no not yet." I stammer out. I hate stuttering why did I have to stutter.

"Keep looking then I'm sure you'll find the best one, you'll give the bride a run for her money I'm sure." He says a not sure fake smile plastered across his face. I didn't know how to deal with that or ever react so I just give him a sweet nod.

"Also Avangeline beau wants to see you in the gardens around too." I nod at this flipping through a rack of dresses unsure how to react to him paying me any attention.

Irene walks over and wraps her arms around Maxon. "Daddy we love you but, you need to go we cant try on dresses with our father in the room." She says innocently letting her arms drop and patting Maxon on the cheek.

He laugh watching her arms fall away from him. "Okay I'm off love you and ill see you both for supper." He turns striding out of the room shaking his head at us.

"Okay back to the dresses." Dianna claps her hands like and excited school girl.

Poofy skirts, silk, and satin dresses are thrown in corners and piles all over the room. I finally find it. Its a cream colored bodice with a beautiful pastel blue floral overlay covering the cream. IT falls into the skirt which is a beautiful cream and pastel blue. It looks gorgeous.

Irene squeals "OH GOD you are so gorgeous in that dress." She starts dramatically patting her cheeks. "WAIT WAIT spin for me." I do so and then she asks me to again and again and again and I do so.

"I'm going to faint from a dizzy spell if you make me do this any longer." I plead and she laughs trowing her head backing completely surrounded with happiness and utter blissfulness. She happier than ever.

"OKAY stop let me unzip you and well send this to one of your maids and they'll figure out shoes and accessories and such things you need." She runs over to unzip me and I quickly step out of it. She grabs it and hands it as I redress in the beautiful daisy dress.

"Now you go be off go see your fine french fellow give him a kiss for me I'll be off now I need to eat or be a princess or something." She laughs and does this adorable spin thing out of the room. Shes like a giddy little girl on Christmas.

Beau is leaning against one of the pillars in front of the garden doors he takes my hand "Come princess, I have a proposition for you." He pulls me me a bit closer. I went from relaxed to stiff to trying to be relaxed again. I think if Beau was anything but sweet I would have probably ignored his little french ass. But Beau prince of France was the cover boy of sweet. If you were sick he brought you and was wrapped around your finger.

"Whats your proposition Beau?" I ask him sweetly.

"As you will notice may is getting warmer. Summer is coming upon us and princess I cant stand being without you all summer so come with me. Paris calls for you princess. Ava angel please at least think about it you can come back in august for King Maxon's birthday ball.

No one had ever wanted me like this or no one that I could recall. I was tempted to say yes but honestly I wanted to think about it all first.

"I'll think about ti first." I say pulling him down onto the blanket on the grass. "Lets eat I'm starved."

He nodded in response giving me a pleading smile.


End file.
